


Like he’s just your understudy

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Series: Could Have... Should Have... Actually... [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Ambiguity, Could Have / Should Have / Actually, Episode: s05e06 Rock On!, It’s not specified how far the Patrick/Ken goes, M/M, POV Patrick Brewer, reader’s choice on that one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: Patrick’s date with Ken:Patrickcould havegone on the dateTheyshould havehad a clearer conversationHeactuallycancelled at the last minute
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Patrick Brewer/Ken
Series: Could Have... Should Have... Actually... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849789
Comments: 16
Kudos: 141





	Like he’s just your understudy

**Author's Note:**

> Another swing at this format:  
>  _How about a new fic genre, in the spirit of five times fics, with the premise:  
>  It could have happened like this...  
> It should have happened like this...  
> It actually happened like this..._
> 
> Title is from Taylor Swift.

****

“I think a cute boy gave you his number, and you should go for dinner and run free. Best case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Worst case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Fun!”

Patrick frowns at David’s retreating back as it heads through the curtain to the stockroom. David, for all his faults — and Patrick isn’t blind to those, no matter how in love he is — isn’t in the habit of saying things he doesn’t mean. In fact, his honesty is generally more of a hindrance than a help, especially on the shop floor, but that’s not the point. The point is, if he says he wants Patrick to  _ go for dinner and run free, _ he means it. 

Patrick has learned a lot about how relationships can work from David, having previously worked on what David likes to call the societal default. The morning after they stayed at Stevie’s was the first time Patrick has ever had an explicit, detailed conversation about monogamy that went any further than ‘I’m not seeing anyone else’ and he’d been a little flustered by David’s almost rote approach to it. It’s never really occurred to him before that those boundaries can be… well, negotiated.

He frowns down at the piece of paper in his hand. 

_ David wants me to have this. _

* * *

“Hi, Ken? It’s, um, from the store. Uh, Rose Apoth— it’s Patrick. From Rose Apothecary. You gave me your number?”

Jesus Christ. If he makes it through this phone call he’s never going to tease David about the nine incoherent voicemails he still has saved from the day they met ever again. 

“Hi, Patrick.” Ken sounds amused, but Patrick has to give him credit for the fact that he’s not actively laughing at least. “I’m glad you called.”

“Would you like to get dinner in Elmdale tonight?”

“Sure,” Ken says quickly. “It’s just that, um— look, I swear this isn’t a line, but my car is in the shop. Is there any way you could pick me up?”

“Oh.” Patrick is taken aback for a moment, but can’t see the harm. “Sure, I can do that.”

“Oh, great,” Ken says. “Did you have somewhere in mind?”

Patrick and David have gone to every restaurant in Elmdale at least twice. “Why don’t you pick.”

“Okay,” Ken replies eagerly. “I’ll make a reservation and text you the details and my address.”

“Sounds good.”

Once he’s hung up, the doubt starts to creep in. What is he doing?

_ David wants me to have this. _

* * *

It’s a good first date. Ken reserves them a table at Antonio’s and the wine keeps the conversation flowing freely enough, the usual getting-to-know-you small talk interspersed with the odd deeper topic of conversation. There’s no sentimental gifts, no best friends slash exes third wheeling, no freezer burnt mozzarella sticks. But it’s a nice date, and Ken is a nice person. Even if he is still wearing those damn shoes. 

When they pull up outside Ken’s house, Patrick switches off the ignition and then realises he has absolutely no idea what to say. 

Luckily, Ken rescues him. “I had a really nice time tonight, Patrick,” he says quietly. Before Patrick can reply Ken is leaning over the centre console and Patrick has a flash of déjà vu so strong it’s a surprise when he doesn’t feel the coolness of David’s rings on the side of his neck. Instead it’s Ken’s lips pressed against his own, thinner than David’s, the angle a little different. 

It’s not the world-rocking first kiss David gave him, but it’s a very sweet kiss. 

When Ken pulls back he grins, and Patrick can’t help smiling back. He’s getting ready to say goodnight when Ken clears his throat. 

“Look,” he says awkwardly, “I swear I don’t normally do this, but… do you want to come up?”

Patrick can feel his heart start working triple time.  _ Does _ he want to come up? Ken is a great guy. He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s earnest. He just has one glaring, inescapable flaw — he’s not David Rose.

_ David wants me to have this. _

* * *

“Do I want to hear about it?”

“I only want to be with you, David,” Patrick tells him. He knows that now, even more clearly than before, and David didn’t ask directly so the answer isn’t technically a lie.

He’s well aware, of course, that he’ll have to tell David the truth, talk through everything that happened tonight — but not yet.

Not yet.

  


****

“I think a cute boy gave you his number, and you should go for dinner and run free. Best case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Worst case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Fun!”

Patrick stares at him. David isn’t the type of person to play games or set tests, and yet somehow this feels like one anyway. When he searches David’s expressive face he can’t find anything other than genuineness there, but it still feels… off. Like it needs a bigger conversation. 

“Can we talk about this after we close?” he asks finally. “It just seems like a discussion that would be better to have when we’re not at risk of being interrupted by customers.” When David looks like he’s going to interrupt, Patrick adds: “Or Alexis. Or  _ Stevie.” _

That seems to bring David up short. “Okay,” he says softly. “After closing.”

The rest of the afternoon passes mostly normally, except their conversation is a little more stilted than usual and David manages to keep himself busy on the opposite side of the store. Patrick didn’t realise before just how many casual touches he shares with David throughout the day; now, he feels the absence of them like a missing limb. 

The last half hour is slow enough that they get most of their closing tasks completed before five; all Patrick has to do is balance the till before they can settle down on the couch in the back room, close but not quite touching. 

“I still think you should call him,” David says firmly, and Patrick sighs. 

“I guess I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation  _ now. _ We’ve been together over a year, we practically live together—”

“Yes, but we  _ don’t, _ do we?” David blurts out, and then freezes. 

It takes several seconds for Patrick to fully process this. “Wait. Is this about Ken, or are you mad that we didn’t move in together?”

“I’m not—” David breaks off, frustration evident in both his voice and his posture. “I’m not  _ mad. _ It’s not that.” He looks down, hands twisting tightly in his lap. Patrick recognises the motion, knows it means David is anxious and trying to hide it; he picks up the hand closest to him and gives it a squeeze, silently urging David to continue. 

“It’s just,” David says softly. “If you want to— explore, it’s a lot easier to do that now than when we’re… actually living together, or whatever.”

“Or whatever?” Patrick asks carefully. David cuts him a look, and Patrick quickly decides it’s best not to go down that particular path right now. 

“Look,” he says instead, “I hear you. And I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me. But I need you to hear _me_.” David turns to him, eyes wide. “David, I don’t want to go out with Ken. There is nothing that is missing from my life because I’m with you.” 

“And if you change your mind?” David whispers. 

“David,” Patrick keeps his voice firm, steady, no matter how much it hurts that David is still questioning this. “I love you. Anything I want to explore, now or in the future, I want to explore with you. Whatever that looks like, we decide it together. Okay?”

“Oh,” David breathes, his eyes wet. “Um, that sounds — fine. That’s fine.”

“Besides,” Patrick says with a grin, “did you see Ken’s shoes?”

David grimaces. “I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything…” 

  


****

“I think a cute boy gave you his number, and you should go for dinner and run free. Best case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Worst case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Fun!”

Patrick waits until David leaves for the mid-afternoon café run before he pulls Ken’s number back out of his pocket, staring down at it. 

_ David wants me to have this. _

He dials Ken’s number. 

* * *

He changes his shirt three times, adds and removes his blazer twice, before he realises the discomfort he’s feeling isn’t due to his chosen outfit. 

He loves David. He  _ loves _ him. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to ‘run free’. 

He can’t do this. It’s not fair to Ken, who is inevitably going to be compared to David the whole night and fall short. It’s not fair to David, who while sometimes selfish about the small things can be selfless to the point of self-sabotage when he thinks it matters. It’s not fair to Patrick, who considers every moment he doesn’t spend with David Rose a moment wasted. 

Why did he agree to this? 

He dials Ken’s number. 

* * *

“Do I want to hear about it?”

“I couldn’t do it,” Patrick tells him, and when he sees the relief flood David’s face he knows he made the right decision.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on [Tumblr](http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com).


End file.
